I think I mentioned I lost my job in August after getting into an accident with a semi. I am being sued for $25,000.00 because the man said he was hurt. He did not get hurt, I have pictures to prove that the man was okay. I tried to contact my past employer and they just won't respond to me, I am just trying to save them some money. I haven't been working since then, well I have been doing some transcribing on the internet, but not making to much because I am not a very fast typist.

So I thought I would try to keep track a bit on how my son has been treating me lately. Ha, ha I guess not lately, but all his life.
I remember when he was just a newborn and I had to stay in the hospital with him for a week, because he had Re-flux, which is... His liquids were backing up in his esophagus and going back into his lungs trying to suffocate him. They had me thicken his formula with cereal and that seemed to have worked just great.
None the less, he had to be attached to a breathing monitor for 3 months of his little life.

I kept him in bed with my husband and myself until he was like 5 or so, I felt the need to watch him constantly to make sure he was breathing okay while he slept. I learned to sleep with one eye open at all times. 

We used to play all the time. I'd take him for walks in his stroller across town miles, and miles and when we got back we always played in the grass until he turned green. When he was 4 he was diagnosed with ADD/ADHD/ODD and yes at that early an age he was put on medication to help him so he didn't hurt himself. He always was a very special miracle to me. We would put on our roller-skates and go over to one of the factory's in our neighborhood and skate in their parking lot for hours, rolling back and forth this ball that was bigger then him.

Needless to say, I was always over protective of my son... Always!!! Now when I entered into my second marriage my son started to drift away from me a bit, which was fine. But we had decided to make a move to New York so that my son could go to school with his cousins. After I had to go to work to support us, I had to be gone for 2 full time jobs daily. My son started to slack off on his homework, which my husband didn't enforce before playing outside.

His grades were slipping a bit and we moved back to Michigan. When we moved back, I let him stay home from school and said that we would home school him. Every-time we gave a suggestion on what he can do for schoolwork he would just blow it off and do his own thing. He did quit school and took his GED at 17 then proceeded to go into the Army.

He hurt himself in the Army so he was able to come back home. In the mean time we were losing our home as for my husband decided to leave us (Again- this was a habit of his) so we were really in a lot of serious problems. My vehicle got taken away so I couldn't find work to keep a roof over our head. I got arrested and that pretty much made my medical training useless. So I have a lot of pretty bad issues that I can't even begin to list here.

I really loved my driving job, I didn't mind driving for them for 3 years 14 hours a day or longer sometimes, but when I lost my job, my son had to pick up and pay all our bills because I am not working. Now if I was to take my car away from him I would be able to get a job no problem. But... He would lose his.
Now he resents me even more now then he has ever resented me in the past.

What hurts the most is all the names he calls me, I try to speak to him about something or just anything and he tells me to shut up that he can't stand listening to me. Now if he needs to say something to me I listen to him without saying hurtful things. I know he hates me, and maybe he will hate me forever, but I feel like I have no reason to be here in this life when I have nothing left to do.

I would never do anything stupid to jeopardize my chance of going to Heaven, but I hold a lot of hurt inside and I just can't figure out what to do with it all. So I thought at least if I write about some of the things, that they won't seem so big to me. I'm sorry to vent and ramble on, but believe it or not, this helped me feel a tiny bit better. Love all you fellow Bloggers and May the Great Lord Bless You and Your's.

Well here we are in 2016 already, my how time flies. I am no longer working and besides my broken back... I have been falling a lot lately. Just today I stood up from the couch, with a cup of coffee in my hand, and my left foot had no feeling in it, so down I went. This time my son had to come help me walk to the kitchen. The coffee that was in the cup covered the entire living room.

I haven't been anywhere lately so I don't have much to write about. I did go up north in December because my best friends sister passed away. I was very happy to see her, just wish it was on a better occasion.
the funeral was beautiful there were hundreds of people there; it was really cool to see that 90% of the people there belonged to my best friends mother. I've seen big families but her's is gigantic and they have always welcomed me.

So this year I hope to write more often, I keep forgetting that I have this site. I did go out and get more fashions for under $5 a couple months ago. I think the most that an entire outfit costs was $2.66. I will have to post some pictures later of the things I got. 

I wish I had a full size manikin then I could make the clothes look so much better then what they currently look like on the stuff I used to pose them on. That would be super because then I could also sew my own clothes that way. I'm not a great sewer but I do have a ton of fabric and two sewing machines, and could surely come up with a lot of something.

Well stay cool, or I guess stay warm and have a very Blessed Day.
Remember God loves you.